Soul Beautiful #01 Dealing with relationships that hold you back.

This "Soul Beautiful" blogpost series marks a new beginning of living authentic. Through your lifestyle, health and (drum roll)... relationships.

As a food and fitness coach I noticed a pattern in my clients and members. In fact this pattern was in me, which is why I'm able to help them. The pattern goes like this:

  • Drive
  • Joy
  • Try
  • Shut-down
  • Stop

Maybe we need to upgrade our fitness program, get a better meal plan or find another coach. Then it happens: Drive > Joy > Try > OUTSIDE HINDERANCE > Shut-down > Stop! [Again]

After several rotations of this we find ourselves cuddling ice cream and kissing donuts. [Okay, maybe that's just me.] 

Life is full of opportunities, often hidden at first. The secret is to look at every situation from an eagles perspective. Rise above.
— Ho'omālamalama

My goal is to share with you from a coaches perspective about some of the traits that I've noticed. These are pitfalls that come from our inner circle. As in people we love and care about, who might not be on the same page as us at the moment. So in all fairness UNDERSTAND that if you want to loose weight, get healthy or live holistic; that it's your "Aha" moment. Don't try to force your willing change onto an unwilling soul.

5 Tips to help you decipher if a relationship is holding you back...

  1. Do they do all the talking? (Dominate the conversation.)

  2. Does your opinion matter?

  3. Are conversations just a poo-pile of negativity?

  4. When was the last time they actually did what you suggested? 

  5. Do you feel drained or tired after a conversation?


The most important tip I've ever learned is that I need to create BOUNDARIES. I encourage healthy relationships by...

  1. Answering text messages at my convenience at a set time. 
  2. Meals are sacred. In other words no mobile devices at the table.
  3. Setting aside time to plan and schedule my week with activities that build my creative soul.
  4. Treating drama or reactive-circumstances as if they have to wait in line. Taking emotional control.
  5. Meditating first. Seriously. Before I engage I pray. Not for answers but for joy, I ask for joy.

Keeping my word teaches others how I want to be treated. . If I told my child that I'm helping them with a school project and a friend text me a needs to talk; I'll stick to my first plan and call when I have time. [Why?] Because in most cases the problems they're facing they caused and I can not solve what I did not create. I can suggest a solution but they have to take action. So why should I burden myself with a situation that I can not control? 

Enjoy the 1-Minute inspiration and journal your thoughts after reading this or you can leave a helpful comment. Words of wisdom are always welcomed here.