Overcome Imposter Syndrome

“Of all the feelings we could feel and thoughts we could think, Imposter Syndrome is actually a dis-ease to the creative process. ”

— Ho'omalamalama

Read

Or listen people who inspire you and were the under-dogs in their social circle.

Individuals who, inspite of their circumstances, went against the odds & succeeded.

Get into the habit of being “Inspired” and if you need help I actually wrote another blogpost called HOW TO SHOP FOR INSPIRATION. Click Here.

Repeat

Daily affirmations to point your "future self" into the right direction.

This is a powerful practice to shape your mind and create an awareness.

Your self talk can break or build you, so what are you saying to yourself? What’s going on in your thoughts? Is it building you?

This is where affirmations can help us. It’s a powerful tool to guide and refocus us.

I wrote a blogpost that’s dedicated to FOCUS and finding your Drishti. Click Here.

Reject

Anyone's opinion of you that doesn't align with your dreams, goals and ideas.

This includes personal doubts and stink'n think'n that's on loop in your thoughts. [loop: repeat]

What’s stink’n think’n you may ask? Well it’s any thought that WILL NEVER SERVE YOU or holding on to the negative opinions of others.

Start standing up for yourself!

Checkout a blogpost I wrote called, “How to become a Ninja Empath.” Click Here Which basically talks about standing up for your PEACE OF MIND.

REWRITE

Your goals list daily!

Okay, this is a big one but if you really want to kick imposter syndrome in the bum you NEED to do this step.

Make your mind see, read & write each goal.

This particular step is meant for the courageous, bold and someone who's tired of the status-quo. Warning ⚠️ positive change may occur.

I have an extra tip which is to create a vision board of your goals. You can create a single board for mind, body, soul, relationship and income goals or combine each realm.

“Vision your way into WHOLEness” is a blogpost I wrote that covers this topic. Click Here

Repeat

Steps 1-4 on a regular basis and get into the habit of forward thinking. Because that sneaky imposter syndrome will always try to bring you down.

The feeling of “I can’t” will never rest which is why you should always be vigilant. Enjoy your success and resist the urge to self sabotage.

Here’s the best part, I’ve written a blogpost just about this very subject. Click Here to read Resist the urge to self sabotage.

I also wrote another about overcoming the fear of success. Click Here.

How to refresh and enrich your life.

“Everything pleasant and wonderful about your life was first realized within your mind, embraced by your heart and felt through your body. Refresh and enrich from the inside out.”

— Ho'omālamalama

As I share this message spring is in the air but the typical showers have turned into hail, windstorms and a cold front freezing my starter plants. I’ve always looked to nature to guide me into a space of mental nourishment but she seemed just as out-of-sorts as the rest of us. Which got me thinking, “How can I refresh and enrich my life, regardless of my surroundings?”

Many of my writings have been dedicated to designing a life with style while exploring holistic practices. In 2018 I wrote the Three R’s of SPRING, Feng Shui & Minimalism and my favorite Subconscious Curating. All of which were meant to explore spring and its affects on our mind and habits. But what if spring needs to reset and refresh?

Focus on what you can control.

I can’t control nature or the weather but I can control my emotions and energy. This is how I chose to refresh and enrich by creating an environment that will nourish my whole being.

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Declutter

Physical clutter is mental clutter.

Decluttering is probably the last thing on your list but our surroundings influence our wellbeing.

You can burn incense stick after incense stick but all that smoke will not move the clutter. You can “OM” until the cows come home but that won’t change that pile of random objects in your room.

First take care of your physical space and start with a clean slate. Also allowing natural light and plants will enhance a feeling of nourishment.

Create

Set aside sacred space for you to refresh and enrich.

The second thing you’ll want to do is curate a specific area that will become your Drishti or focal point. [How to find your Drishti.] Keep this area dust free and minimal. Start with candlelight or soft accent lights.

I actually have repurposed birch tree branch and wrapped it with white Christmas lights. I sit by it while drinking my tea and reflecting the day. Gather pieces or pictures that nourish your soul but keep it simple.

Practice

Regular fitness has so many benefits.

Thirdly, you have to provide stress, worry and anxiety a way out of your system. Besides burning calories regular workouts can reduce certain levels of stress and anxiety.

When we’re stressed we block joy and nourishing feelings. Cardio, dance fitness, yoga, weight lifting and walking allows fresh oxygen to flow in. Bottom line BREATHE is the ultimate refresh and enrich stimulation.

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Monthly Sessions

Our coaches Patience & Ho’o do their best to provide regular classes designed to support a women in all seasons of life. They created a “Tip Jar” so members can pay what they can afford. The goal is to provide a much needed service regardless of a woman’s bank account. They’re busy mom’s supporting growing children who understand life’s challenges.

If you’d like to learn more about our fitness program click on the link below and tell us a little bit about yourself. (Follow Walk_Inn_Beauty on Insta to see what we’re up to.)

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30 Day’s of Podcasting

So we accepted the challenge to podcast daily. Click to hear what we’re talking about today.

Empath's Self Care Guide

In our first post, How to be a Ninja Empath, we asked “What if more empaths turned into ninjas and learned how to protect themselves from mana-suckers?” (People who drain your energy.) Then we created an Unofficial Empath Quiz designed to reveal if you are, in fact, an empath. The quiz is meant to be a lighthearted experience with your inner truth and embrace your gift.

We’ve been talking so much about empathy that it’s important to follow-up with the next part of the journey which is understanding self-care as it pertains to an empath’s needs. We’ve curated five steps, based off our experiences, to share with you. Also there’s a self guided e-course that you can participate in if you want to dive deeper. It will include PDF’s and much more.

“Those blessed with special gifts or talents are usually unaware. The moment they come into a place of knowing they’ll need to immediately learn how to protect their gifts. Because the world is full of jealous individuals wishing they were gifted. People blinded by envy and quietly waiting to destroy what they can not possess. Stay vigilant.”

— Ho'omalamalama

1. Routine Rituals of Self-Care

A series of actions performed in a certain order to provide consistent nourishment. Dedicated time, space & energy.

GOAL

Schedule, plan and invest in services or knowledge that will allow you to maintain your wellbeing. 

2. Journaling Thoughts & Feelings

Learn to separate yourself from the information you receive and write it down. In the form of dreams or what you sense and learn from others.

GOAL

Practice healthy habits to remind yourself that you are not your thoughts. Filter and identify your feelings from those around you.

3. De-Clutter Often

Create a lifestyle that allows you to evaluate what is around you. Place things into two categories; serving me or not serving me. This includes relationships, items, music, movies, publications and subscriptions.

GOAL

Use a clutter free environment to boost your energy and lifestyle.

4. Regular Workouts + Walks

Utilize fitness as a way to circulate and energize the body. This should be gold standard and a regular habit. Walking provides many physical benefits along with stress reducing advantages.

GOAL

Habit track your fitness routine or hire a coach.

5. Gather Like-Minded People

It's okay to be picky about who you allow into your inner circle. In fact guard this realm. Make sure to identify characteristics that you desire and associate with people who reflect your values.

GOAL

Know who "feeds" your soul and who "drains" your energy. Prevent & protect. 

Comment below: What action’s will you take at this moment?

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Want More?

We’ve been developing an e-course centered around our Ninja Empath blogpost. It’s designed to tap into your innate ability to protect by asking thought provoking questions and applying immediate action. We hope that it will offer an awareness and provide weapons of mass enlightenment. This can be completed on your schedule as it is a self guided course.

• Discover techniques to help you turn-off the chatter.

• Create positive self-talk and fall in love with being YOU.

• Learn the “5" rules of engagement.

• Apply resources and tools to guide you.

• Develop your intuition and confidence.

• Improve how you engage with the world.

• Use the PDF’s to dive deeper.

• BONUS: You can revisit this e-course as often as you need. (Depending on our relationship with the hosting platform.)

Free Version

If you prefer to to learn at your own pace & take notes. No PDF

Email E-Course

If you prefer independent study & prompts. PDF’s Included.

Video E-Course

If you prefer visual learning with bonuses. PDF’s + Ebook + Video

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Members Benefit

Be the first to know when we have a new e-course or offer and get special discounts. Join our Good Vibes Only Tribe and stay in touch.

Unofficial "Empath Quiz"

You’d be surprised

to know that many individuals who are empaths might not be aware. And if they are aware they might feel uncomfortable about revealing it to others.

• Mana suckers can pickup empath vibes. (Mana: strength in Hawaiian)

• Empath’s daily schedule can be affected by others.

• A non-empath isn’t affected.

So relax, take the quiz & comment on Instagram.

There’s a beautiful side to being an empath and I hope to bring light and joy to an important gift.

“This blog post should NOT be taken as medical or phycological advice. It’s for informational and educational purposes only. Please see a licensed professional. ”

— WholelisticFit and Ho'omalamalama

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Empath Quiz

Simply Answer YES or NO

The Following questions are meant to bring awareness and open your mind to the possibilities of being an Empath. Have fun and maybe include family members and friends.

1. I sense and feel things that I can’t explain, somehow my “gut feeling” is usually right.

YES/NO

2. I want to heal, help and restore others. It’s often at my own expense.

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3. I adore nature and feel strongly connected to a certain places.

YES/NO

4. I dislike bullies or people who take advantage of others, I crave justice.

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5. You kinda deal with imposter syndrome and you don’t know how wonderful you really are.

YES/NO

If you answered “YES” to all five questions then it’s likely that you could be an empath. Congrats.

Recognizing

Acknowledging your gift 🎁 is the beginning of a beautiful journey because denial only brings regret and shattered dreams. When you deny being an empath you’re unconsciously opening the door to being used, misunderstood and overwhelmed. You’ll spend your days regretting missed opportunities since you were consumed by someone else’s drama. Who consciously wants that life?

Once you accept your gift you’ll understand how and why you should protect it. You’ll become aware of intentions and will be able to navigate through relationships.

Becoming a Ninja Empath was my way of explaining to my son that he needed to protect his heart, mind and emotions. I want him to develop a healthy self image.

Something NEW

When I started writing this series I had no idea of its depth. The mother in me longs to protect my children but I realized that I need to teach them how to protect themselves. Learning self defense should be included with the ABC’s of reading. It should be elementary. (wink wink) That last line was a nod to Sherlock Holmes fans.

The blogpost has inspired a new online class I’m calling, “Empath E-Course” which is an empath’s self defense training. If you’d like more information visit the SHOP page or sign up for our newsletter.

How to be a Ninja Empath

It started in the 80’s

with Karate Kid and then Ninja Turtles when the underdog had a fighting chance.

I grew up idolizing Bruce Lee but he was “Next Level” and somehow the 80’s brought attainable power. We could become ninja’s and win against the big bad guy.

Which is why I’m using it to reference this title: How to be a Ninja Empath. I wanted to unite two very different mindsets.

A ninja is trained to fight in the shadows and take life. While an empath feels and connects to others. The empath gives life, sometimes at the price of their own wellness. (That’s a different topic.)

“To be a Ninja Empath one must learn to protect their most sacred possession... mental wellbeing.”

— Ho'omalamalama

Shadow-of-Safety

Ninja’s were trained to fight in the shadows using it to protect their identity and get the job done. They were taught to complete the mission and then disappear.

Anciently battles were fought facing your opponent but ninja’s changed the game. Which got me thinking about empaths and ... what if they learned ninja techniques to fend off energy vampires [energy vampires].

Empaths face the energy of others unaware that war is about to happen. The battle field is their mind and the opponent wants to posses their peace of mind, joy and wellbeing.

What if more empaths turned into ninjas and learned how to protect themselves from energy vampires? Or as my Anake (auntie) Ka’uhane says, “Mana Suckers.” People who drain your energy.

“Boundaries become the weapons of a Ninja Empath”

— Ho'omalamalama

What inspired me?

I’m the mother of an empath and being the parent of such a gifted child takes patiences. I’m more aware of our surroundings and I pay attention to how he reacts to other people. My observation of him taught me so much.

• An empath can’t “turn-on” or “turn-off” their ability to feel others.

• Sleep becomes a way to cope with the overwhelming feelings.

• Insecure people are drawn to them, often to bully or use them as a dumping ground for their problems.

• If they go dark or give into discouragement it takes consistent love to pull them out.

• They like to laugh but feel self-conscious when trying to relax.

• Perceptive of how people look at them, it makes them uncomfortable around crowds.

• They can’t “let it go” and require healthy self-care habits, positive influences and art to cope. Eventually they will “let it go.”

“There isn’t a single human with as much invested in your wellbeing as yourself. You have one body, mind and soul use it wisely. Preserve”

— Ho'omalamalama

Start your training

As I began to write this blogpost I realized that there are tools, lessons and action steps that are super important for any empath or people like me, a parent of an empath, to implement.

I designed an e-course based off my relationship with my son and created printable(s) along with deeper insight. This is the type of course you’ll want to revisit often since change is the only constant variable in life. My personal experience is that an empath will benefit from following the seasons and this course is best implemented in spring or fall. It’s designed to bring in perspective and reframe the mind.

Please Like 👍 Share

How BREATH is your super power.

[This blogpost is intended for educational purposes, please consult your physician before applying any of these strategies into your lifestyle.]

“Appreciate every “inhale” and be grateful for every “exhale” because it’s simple function connects you to a power source called LIFE.”

— Ho'omālamalama

Clarity

Fresh oxygen offers clarity and helps your brilliant brain function.

If you’re standing up or sitting up chances are your heart is pumping against gravity. Which is why inversions are so helpful, they allow fresh blood flow and oxygen into your brain.

Read through to the end or just scroll down because I attached a video with a few breathing exercises you can use.

Support

Deep breaths supports your bodies ability to properly digest.

Short shallow breathes tenses the muscles and that can prevent the digestive system from doing its part. Imagine that you’re trying to fill a bunch of water balloons with the hose from a fire hydrant. [Not going to work.] The balloon can hold water but how water travels into it makes all the difference. That’s a generic visual of how our stomach works but the correlation is how food travels into the digestive system. Shallow breathing tenses the muscles making it difficult for food to properly digest.

Peace

Breathing well offers peace of mind and guides your body into good sleep.

Allowing yourself to to breathe calmly relaxes the body, releasing tension and anxiety. Eventually helping you to drift off into sleep.

There’s nothing like a good nights sleep to charge up the body and brain, the trick is falling asleep. PEACE is the result of the body and mind resting. It offers your soul a place to recharge and face the day.

Improves

Your ability to breathe well improves how your immune system responds to threats.

With every exhale is a release of something that the body doesn't need. Proper circulation has so many benefits.

1. Avoid smoking. If you do smoke, consider taking steps to quit.

2. Get plenty of sleep. [3/5]

3. Regular cardiovascular fitness strengthens the heart.

Reduces

Great breathing habits reduces stress levels in the body and allows you to cope with life.

“Control your breath, control your life,” is a true statement. A steady inhale and exhale is a sign of self mastery. It opens your mind, allowing you to improve your perception in any situation.

Remember the old Kung Fu movies where the master teaches his protégé to meditate and breathe. Breath is powerful and once it’s mastered you can do anything.

learn how to breathe

Isn’t it funny how we perpetuate a bad habit without understanding the negative effects. If we take time to practice the right techniques we will drastically improve our health.

Imagine the simplicity of breathing right and the side effects being: weigh loss, better sleep and more energy. The best part is that it’s FREE!

How to influence positive change.

If you woke up every morning and did a 15min burst for one month you would create positive change in your body.

Now imagine that you called five friends and asked them to join you for the next month. They’ll experience positive change and it was all because of you.

Your positive energy influenced positive change in others.

That old saying, “Be the change that you want to see” is 100% true.

We need more influential people leading others through their examples. Which is opposite from social media which is full of fakery and filters.

I want to tell you, yes you, how significant and important you really are. It’s not a coincidence, you’re reading this blogpost.

“Change will happen. How it happens and how you react determines your outcome.”

— Ho'omālamalama

Step 1

Reflect on every person you admire.

What is it about that creator, author, actor, musician, educator, and so forth that you appreciate? Journal your answers.

I’m an admirer of Nainoa Thompson since meeting him back in the late 90’s. His tenacity pioneered the Hōkūle’a and opened the door for young Hawaiians to live their dreams.

http://www.hokulea.com/crewmember/nainoa-thompson/

Step 2

Why do you admire them?

Write down all the characteristics of that person(s). I’m asking you to dive deep into their temperament and nature.

We often admire individuals but don’t take time to consider why we think so highly of them.

I’ve always admired Oprah and then I started to ask myself why? Then I realized that it was her self worth. It helped me to cultivate my own.

Step 3

Do they have characteristics you would like to emulate?

After writing down the things you admire about them choose three that really stand out. What three do you resonate with?

The qualities we appreciate in successful people always come with a price. It could be in the form of a lesson, heartbreak, and even tragedy. Yet somehow they made it through and came out on top.

Learning from someone else’s experiences provides time-saving shortcuts.

Step 4

Become a student, learn, and embody.

If you obsess over good quality, good vibes, and good role models you’re likely to become one yourself.

No one is truly self made, each of us have a unique genome that we didn’t create but are the recipients of our ancestors. We embody their past experiences. On the same note we can add to our genes through learning. The new Information you gain becomes part of you and will influence the next generation.

Step 5

Character building takes time.

Continue the process of study, learn, embody and witness the unfolding of wonderful experiences.

If you want to improve your family life, work place, or beyond, you must embody positive change before it is able manifest in your environment.

We need more agents of positive change and I hope you're ready for the challenge.

November Challenge

1. Positive Post Daily - Try to post one positive quote, word, or image daily in the month of November.

2. Share & Influence - Share your favorite WholelisticFit post with someone. Find one with action steps and do it with them.

3. Smile Often - When you drive practice smiling. Just hold a “happy thought” and drive. Resist the urge to frown.

How to shop for inspiration.

Inspiration is more than a Pinterest quote it’s a state of mind. It’s also a feeling we get when an innate belief is ignited by an image, word(s), sight, touch, taste and sound. The interesting part is how our subconscious reacts to inspiration. Each connection is both physical and soulful.

Since we live in a world where negative news, road rage, and rude social media comments plague our air space we need to create a bubble of joy, aka inspiration, around us. Which is why I suggest that you shop for inspiration. Don’t worry you don’t have to spend a penny, unless you want to.

What makes you smile?

Who is that person, place or thing that will always put a smile on your face?

Travel down memory lane and recall a time when you were completely devastated or crushed. Then think about how you were able to smile again.

PAUSE: Write down your reflection.

What’s your ideal landscape?

Is there a place that refreshes you? What does it look link? Is it a blue ocean or green mountain?

Consider the scenery that melts your heart. A place you feel calm or relaxed. Allow your mind to recreate this space.

PAUSE: Pull out your colors to draw or cut out a magazine and collage it.

What flavors spark joy?

My community goes nuts for pumpkin spice lattes because it sparks joy. What’s yours?

“Food is memories!” - One hundred foot journey. Our tastebuds hold just as many memories as our mind. Focus on the joyful experiences.

PAUSE: Create a Pinterest board of all your memorable flavors.

What sounds motivate you?

“If music be the food of love play on.” - Shakespeare, Twelfth Night.

Nowadays we can create playlist for every occasion. Do you have one dedicated to inspiration? Having the right sound can improve our attitude and so much more.

PAUSE: Make a music playlist and title it, “Inspire Me!”

What quotes help in your toughest situation?

Repetitional words enter our subconscious and become truths.

Think about words, poems, lyrics, and speeches that inspire you. Words are powerful and the right formulation can be life changing.

PAUSE: Write or photocopy all of your fave quotes, then display it.

Here comes the fun part

Once you've answered all of the prompts what did you observe?

Do any of the images, word(s), sight, touch, taste or sounds surround you on a daily basis? If the answer is no -or- not enough then you have to change it.

Now it’s time to shop! Create a budget and stick to it. You might not have to spend a penny. Repositioning a few key pieces in your home can improve the environment.

[Side Note: I suggest you de-clutter first.]

Here comes the fun Part-2

Change up your space to reflect the seasons. I’m not talking about Christmas decorations but refreshing your space on a regular basis. Allow your mind to dream and then pull from your wonderful ideas. Each season offers you the chance to reimagine your space.

An inexpensive way to boost inspiration is to add fresh flowers or plants.

Comment additional ideas.

If you’ve read all then way to the end and find value in this post please share the ALOHA and post on your social channels. Together we can promote positive change.

Know your season.

Sometimes the struggle we face isn’t outside forces, it might be coming from within. Perhaps this isn’t your season for writing a book, redesigning your closet, or running a mile everyday. My goal is to bring light to the subject of “seasons” and how it relates to your personal goals.

“Like the moon we are only the reflection of a greater force.”

— Ho'omālamalama

Let go of permanence.

Just like the moon and its many reflections from the sun, it will never be the same.

The moon is meant to orbit around the earth and if it didn't our very existence would end.

• First of all we have to accept that we live in an instant society and the ancient practice of seedtime-and-harvest has taken a back seat to our technical world.

For example, you can have organic apples anytime of the year, it’s that simple.

However your body is a conduit of ancient cells whose DNA doesn't relate to the new nature of instant gratification. And somehow we forgot to listen to our bodies which causes us to struggle against our very nature.

Your body is designed to release. Perhaps you’ve held back feelings, hopes & dreams, and can’t move forward. You might be in a season of recovery.

Change is organic.

A healthy river must flow, the ocean needs to move with every current, and the moon needs to rotate.

Nature is in balance when change is happening and sometimes it needs to autocorrect human interferences. [Global Warming]

• Second, there are times when we resist change but resistance is futile. Change is bound to happen, no one can stop it.

I think about loved ones who’ve passed away. I can not change the past and resisting the reality will only prolong the pain.

Death and birth are natural. But it’s important that you take time to morn and then make intentional choices to heal.

You might be in a season of acceptance. This is a great time to receive help and healing.

Create self-care rituals.

Being ambitious is awesome but if you’re skipping regular hydration, fitness sessions, nutrition, and skin care routines it will eventually effect you.

Having healthy routines is like depositing gold coins of health into your future bank account called, “the body.”

• Third, if you feel physically and emotionally exhausted then pause and practice self-care. Be sensitive to the needs of your body.

Pain and weariness is how our body communicates with us. Address it before dis-ease [disease] settles into your body.

Educate your mind to understand how your body works and what types of food it requires. Spoil yourself with products that are safe for your skin type. [Read labels.]

You might be in a season of rejuvenation. Be considerate and enjoy this season.

Gratitude journals open the heavens.

I know Im taking a lot of liberties in this statement but I can explain.

Everyone knows that gratitude is beneficial for attracting what you want and magnifying the good things in your life.

However, unless you’re writing it down you can not truly benefit from this practice.

• Fourth, it’s the simple things in life that will make the biggest difference. Gratitude isn’t woo-woo but a strategical catalyst to attracting good things.

I strongly suggest that you grab a composition book or a fancy journal and start today.

If you’re feeling frustrated with life you might be in a season of realignment. This means that you need to focus on what you want.

Meditate on the power of your breath.

If you’ve read through the entire list and nothing resonated with you then it’s time to meditate.

Anyone, at any age, at any time can meditate. Find a comfortable seated position or lay flat on your back.

Then close your eyes and listen to your inhale and exhale.

Slow down and try counting down from five, four, three, two, and one.

• Fifth, if you can’t figure out your season or why you’re still struggling then meditate.

Our inner struggles are tied to our subconscious and we have to take time to unravel these feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Tiny irritations can manifest into full blown outburst. PAUSE, you could be in a season of self-discovery and need time to reflect.

Find out about our wellness and self improvement sessions. Join our “Good Vibe Tribe” and get our Aloha Fri-Yay newsletter.

Fall in LOVE with yourself.

We go through life waiting for someone to notice us, respect us, and maybe fall in love with us. Our hearts get crushed because our expectations aren’t met but it’s time we change our perspective. Shift our mind into loving ourselves.

I want to share with you the story of a beautiful soul and how she influenced me to become the woman I am today. My holistic lifestyle sounds fancy but I’m trying to relive her indigenous practices.

Josaphine Kauihailua (Manu) Lindsey is my great grandmother

DELIVERED: 6 Feb 1906 Hawaiian Kingdom

DEPARTED: 5 Aug 1996 (aged 90) Hawaii, USA

BURIED: National Memorial Cemetery of the PacificHonolulu, Hawaii, USA

Josephine K. Lindsey, 90, of Nanakuli, a supervisor for the University of Hawaii Extension-Hawaiian Language Club, died Monday in St. Francis Hospital. She is survived by sons Charles A. Manu, and David E. and Philip Kamai; daughters Josephine M. Kaawa and the Rev. Elizabeth K. Mahaulu; sister Victoria Clark; 15 grandchildren; 40 great-grandchildren; and a great-great-grandchild. Service: 1 p.m. Wednesday at Oahu Cemetery Chapel, 2162 Nuuanu Ave. Call after 10 a.m. Burial: National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific, Punchbowl. Casual attire.

Source; The Honolulu Star-Bulletin
Friday August 9, 1996

Her early days are a mystery to my ‘Ohana it was purposefully hidden because of an unknown reason. Nevertheless she nurtured my siblings and I in the old way. When we were born she was there by our mother’s side. After feedings she swaddled us and took care of us until our next feeding. She washed all our cloth diapers, hung them up to dry, sang us to sleep, and spoke to us in Hawaiian. For the first three+ months our mother didn’t have to lift a finger.

La’au Lapa’au

She knew the healing art of plants and the seasons to gather from the uplands. Foraging for food from the lush vegetation or harvesting from the sea. We’re not sure how she learned her skills and I hope to find out.

What we do know is that her past was too painful to speak of, as was the life of many indigenous women across the globe. Hidden away, raised by pseudo grandparents and then delivered into the hands of a heartless aunt.

She never experienced love and for a brief moment her first marriage had love, to only loose him and then outlive two other husbands.

Picture by Nalani Bernado (My Anake) of Hilo, Hawaii

Vivacious

Magnetic

Innovative

Believer

Creative

Faith-filled

Destined

“Many of our ancestors left clues for us to succeed. They planted the seeds of their truth in hopes that we would nourish it and reap its fruits.”

— Ho'omālamalama

Self Care

When I was in elementary and attending Nanakuli Elementary my Kupuna was in the ‘Ohana home. We had four generations living under one roof.

Every morning she would wake up and do her morning stretches. Slow and steady, each move was intentional. Sometimes I would stretch with her, I miss those days.

For a woman who never had a mother to raise and teach her she somehow developed a beautiful self care routine.

Comment Below: What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Self Worth

My Kupuna didn’t allow the opinions of others to define her. And as often as she was shamed, oppressed, and belittled you couldn’t see a trace of it on her face.

She was unwilling to compromise and held a promise in her heart. That promise was,

For I am fearfully and wonderfully made. -Psalms 139:14

Her mindset was simple, I am valuable because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Self Awareness

When she entered a room she was very aware of her surroundings, an acute sense she developed. Loneliness is a strange teacher. Although we crave for interaction, isolation has a way of heightening our senses.

Over time my Kupuna taught herself to read and the pages of the Bible kept her company. The promise of salvation was the lullaby of a warm embrace, meanwhile the staunch examples trained her mind to be steadfast.

Her birth wasn't an accident, she had purpose.

Self Confidence

Being broken down through economic circumstances, educational limitations, raped by an uncle as a teen, birthing a son, loss of a husband, than two more, being a woman, being a single mother, being forced out of your home by your last husband’s child because you don’t want to cause any more friction, homeless and somehow having faith.

No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that accuses you in judgement you will condemn. -Isaiah 54:17

She was confident that her redeemer lives and revenge was not a part of her lifestyle. As she got older her faced beamed love. How remarkable.

Self Love

I’m not trying to sound religious because my Kupuna wasn’t. She didn’t believe in human nature or the promises of a man. A preacher is just a human reading the same Bible she had.

Throughout her time here on earth she clung to, “God is Love” and tried to live by it.

If God is love, I must also love. This love should continue to flow out of a body that is loved. Therefore I love myself. - Ho’omālamalama

Her struggles became my strengths and I live by her example. Essentially I hope they become your strengths too as you fall in love with yourself. Be kind, caring, and always forgiving to yourself.

How to resist the urge to self sabotage.

Where do I begin.

I guess we should starts at the beginning and define self sabotage? According to my online dictionary it refers to behaviors or thought patterns that prevent you from doing what you want to do, and interferes with long-term or short-term goals.

Self-sabotage: behaviors or thought patterns that you allow to hold you back.

Did you notice that subtle reference?

When we allow behaviors or thought patterns to make-up-our-minds and control our actions we give in to the sabotage. It’s surprising how often this happens in a week, day, and hour. With the overwhelming presence of social distractions we are constantly inundated.

Remember when it was called multitasking?

The problem is that it’s no-longer multitasking if we cannot complete a single task. Eventually we carry it over to the next day and so on. If you identify with any of this keep reading through to the end.

Comment your reflection below.

“Make yourself a priority and good things will flow from a grateful heart.”

— Ho'omalamalama

Observe

What’s going on in your life and see it there’s a pattern.

Back in 2011 I got into a painful car accident and went to my chiropractor. The X-ray revealed where the injury was but it also exposed how dehydrated I was. You see, as a young mother I was self sabotaging my own health because I had a habit of getting up, taking care of everyone and forgetting about my self. I was slowly deteriorating.

It’s important to notice what’s going on in your life and take time to get to the root or cause.

Accept

Accept and don’t make excuses for the behavior. It’s neither good or bad, it is what it is, a setback to your progress. What you should do is ask yourself, “Why is this happening?”

I wasn’t drinking water because I didn't make it a priority. Once I accepted how it happened and understood why it happened I was able to move on.

Connect

Not to sound woo-woo but when we set our minds to workout, eat healthy or make more money, our mind is set in motion to follow through. However if we make it a habit to break self-made promises you will loose self credibility. Eventually we spiral down and loose all passion.

Place your hands over your heart and apologize for not keeping your word and feel the connection.

Rebuild

Ready to get to work? Good

Pick one simple goal and break it down into mini task. In my case I needed to drink more water so I bought a big water flask and filled it the night before. When I woke up I drank and took the flask everywhere.

Starting small shouldn't be overlooked. In fact it’s the little things in life that make the most difference.

Successful Habits

Once you succeed in one area you’ll want to do more. It’s extremely addictive to experience the feeling of building self credibility which will turn into…

self esteem

That’s what I call full circle. Your future self will thank you for resisting the urge to self sabotage. Congrats!

Want More?

Join the Good Vibe Tribe and get our e-newsletter.

One day or day one

I was sitting at my make-shift desk in an empty classroom waiting for inspiration. Do you know what that feels like? Waiting for the right emotion or a clear sign from the heavens to make my next move. Then I realized all this waiting isn’t changing my circumstances. In fact nothing changed because I didn’t take action.

Walking away from the unknown and taking responsibility can be daunting but what have you got to loose?

Seriously, do you like where you are?

I was self-coaching my brain into accepting a new mindset. Below are the steps I chose to follow and you’re welcomed to use them and PLEASE comment below your thoughts or if you have an extra step.

Finding mentors is the quickest way to making positive and long-lasting change. Let’s face it, DAY ONE in any situation can summon up fear and resistance. The best thing you can do, if you find yourself in this situation, is to ask for help.

When looking for mentors or helpful advice NEVER get it from anyone who's struggling. Sure they know how to identify a bad situation but if they’re still in it then they can’t be of any assistance to you.

Taking action is a powerful first step. I use to hear people quote bible scriptures but never act on the advice they preached. Once you add movement to your desire it will boost your self esteem, which is important.

You are undertaking something new and have to be patient with yourself. Little moments of celebration helps boost confidence, eventually aiding you in completing bigger task.

Putting the pressure on paper is and old technique my mom taught me. My childhood mind was very active and I often overburdened my parents with over-the-top questions. Writing down my thoughts and ideas help me to see, gather and compute my busy mind.

• See, visually looking at my thoughts gave me perspective.

• Gather, ideas that shared common goals or related in some form.

• Compute, decide what should I focus on at the moment. What do I have control over.

Take immediate action and feel the pleasure of marking one item off your list. This is the best feeling and it’s kind of addictive. Once you start marking things off you’ll want to do more. Pace yourself.

At the end of a week or month, after you’ve exhausted all of your energy and still have things on your list, consider engaging with a professional. Coaches come in all forms and genre.

Google characteristics of your ideal coach. [Ex: Fit Mom Coach] Check out their social platforms and ask yourself, “Does this person resonate with me?”

Other questions to consider:

1. Do you connect with their message?

2. Do they inspire you?

3. Can you learn from them?

Once you’ve decided on a few potential coaches contact them. When you choose a coach be very clear and don’t assume anything. Clarity is important and you have to share your expectations and overall goals.

Good Vibe Tribe

I started an e-newsletter because it seemed like the right thing to do. Then I was stuck, thinking that I had nothing to share and realized, “People need good vibes!” So my goal is to grow a GOOD VIBE TRIBE and share meaningful content to help my digital community.

There’s always the chance of a random newsletter coming through but generally I send them out every Aloha Fri-yay because it’s my favorite day of the week.

Below is a program I created for Squaxin Island’s SPIPA program. Super excited to work with families from local PNW tribes.

If you’re interested in my programs join the tribe.

How to overcome energy draining people.

Before

you can overcome something you have to identify it. Ask yourself, “What drains my energy?” Is it…

• Stress

• Lack of sleep.

• Poor eating habits.

• Irregular moon-time.

• Job

• Lack

• Self doubt.

Pause and write down everything that makes you feel tired.

Then come back to the blog.

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Consider this

Do any of your answers connect to a person? Is it one person or many? If the person is “YOU” then that’s a quick fix but if it’s anyone else there’s one complicated solution and it will take time.

1. First of all we create emotional ties to people who might not reciprocate the feelings or share our mutual respect. Go back to your list and think about the circumstances or people who are connected to the negative energy you’re feeling. Have you, without their knowledge, put an expectation on them that they’re unaware of?

2. Secondly, our JOY is woven into the fabric of our soul and it’s a great indicator for your internal compass. You see JOY is not the same as HAPPY because one is the bubbling over of your inner wellbeing and the later can be fabricated. For example someone gives you $1,000 and you’re happy then they take it away and you’re sad. Your mood was directly affected in moments and that is not JOY. In fact it’s the opposite and you feel blessed either way. Has someone affected your ability to dwell in JOY?

3. Third and final is your ability to reflect and do a soul-check. That’s when you scan your emotions, energy levels and track your habits to see what it uncovers. We all need to practice this because it keeps us grounded. This is why I admire Asian tea drinking communities who end each day with a cup of tea as they reflect. You can journal your feelings and thoughts at the end of each day. My Mom say’s, “Put the pressure on paper!”

“Put the pressure on paper!”

— Mapuana Tandal

Mental Health = Managing Energy

The best way to overcome energy draining people or circumstances is to learn to manage and identify your flow. Feeling tired, moody or irritated are indicators and if you don’t pay attention to them you’ll loose control one incident at a time.

Below I made a video of my ‘Ohana being themselves and playing to encourage you to play, laugh and enjoy the little things in life.

Top 3 Tips

1. Identify

2. Reflect

3. Adjust

If you can practice the following three things I mentioned and surround yourself with likeminded people it will make a world of difference in your longevity. Remember that stress can morph into a physical ailment so you have to manage your energy and keep that in check. Which is why I started a mastermind, to keep my eyes on the prize.

The only way to achieve anything.

If you want

to achieve anything in life you have to IMUA, move on and go forward.

Imua

isn’t a cardinal direction like north, south, east and west but rather the destination of your desires. As a child growing up in Hawaii I knew that IMUA was a call to action.

Today we must

consider the echos of our loved ones past and present, encouraging us to carry on.

“Sometimes we lack the “how” but we feel the “why” and it is in those moments that we IMUA.”

— Ho'omalamalama

Our Obligation

If you breath oxygen, albeit with a mask, you are entitled to one thing the right to move. You can move into the direction of your dreams or move away from it. There might be detours, slight changes or redesigning your original strategy but that shouldn’t stop you.

5 Tips To Help You IMUA

1. Get into an environment of likeminded people, like a mastermind.

2. Find a coach or be mentored by someone you respect and value their work ethics.

3. Break down what you want into small steps and write it into your planner.

4. Schedule time for the small steps and give each task a prospective date of completion.

5. Ask someone to hold you accountable and keep your promise.

Walking on a path at the Billy Frank Jr. Wildlife Refuge near Nisqually reservation.

Let’s face it…

We all have one goal in the back of our mind that has yet to be realized. What’s holding us back?

Nothing.

Sure there’s a slight bend in the road or maybe a few deep potholes but the path is still in front of you. Perhaps you stopped to gaze off into the sunset, wonderful pause and then pick up where you left off. Sometimes that gaze can be in the direction of someone you loved who took a different road. Don’t stand there wondering why they’re not with you and don’t you dare switch paths. If you do your life will be filled with regret.

Just keep moving and you will attract individuals who believe in the things you do. Remember your dreams and hold on to your why.

Also at Billy Frank Jr. Wildlife Refuge

Peace in the journey,

Remove guilt, worry and stress. Forgive yourself and keep moving forward, IMUA.

To help you out I’ve written two questions to help you get on track. Answer them in the comment box or find me on Instagram and share your thoughts.

Why our Elder's prayed often and we should too.

You’re probably

familiar with a Disney movie where an alien and a troubled girl find solace in their disfunction. You’ll hear the main character say, “‘Ohana means family…”

Hawaiian

language has more depth and a single word can take you years to explore. For example ‘Ohana. I will share the translation I grew up with.

‘Ohana means

prayer.

Pule ‘Ohana

Our Na Kupuna, elders, would call us together and say, “Hele mai, ‘ohana” and we knew that they wanted to pray. We came from all over and sat huddled. Children on the floor, parents in chairs and babies in the arms of someone. Our eyes wide with anticipation and silently waiting for their mana’o or wisdom.

I’m sitting on my Mama’s lap. Picture taken by my Auntie Nalani of Big Island.

Why they prayed…

If we were celebrating and someone was going to leave the party they would pray to send them off and those who would follow. They knew that time was precious and we are not guaranteed to see one another.

If someone shared urgent news and sought the wisdom of our Kupuna to guide them. Maybe they were applying for a new job, parenting issues or trying to conceive.

If their own intuition guided them to pray they would call whomever was around and ask them to pray in agreement. This could happen at 12pm or 12am, depending on their na’au or gut feeling. (Intuition)

Why we should pray…

Because our day’s are shrouded with confusion and misinformation. Prayer grounds us and offers clarity.

Because we need relief from the mental strain and stress that’s slammed in our faces daily. We can offer our concerns and release it to the heavens.

Because it’s healthy to believe in something higher than our own selves, to elevate our minds.

Because prayer unites us in empathy towards one another. When we lift the needs of other we inevitably lift ourselves. It’s and act of love to pray for the needs of others while not expecting anything in reward.

• Grounding

• Clarity

• Release

• Healthy

• Elevate

• Empathy

• Love

“I never heard of a person, who in their last breath said, “I wish I prayed less.” ”

— Ho'omalamalama

When is it a good time to pray?

Anytime!!!

To gather in one mind.

Momentum happens when everyone has one thought in mind. For example before Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. many sought for equality but it took one person to ‘Ohana and gather everyone to one purpose. Once united anything is possible.

I would have loved to hear the prayers that were said before they marched on Washington DC in 1964. That must have been powerful! We’ve all seen or heard Dr.MLK Jr’s speech but I want to hear the ‘Ohana that happened before he stepped out onto the podium.

Imagine the elders circling around him and praying fervently.

It’s not religious.

Prayer was never meant to be religious. It’s our right as human beings to pray, to gather, to ‘Ohana.

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Last week.

I’m closing off my mastermind by the end of January 2021 and might open it up later. (Might) If you want to take your self-improvement, self-development or business to the next level you should join us.

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Do you have a group you can trust?

Find likeminded individuals and form your own prayer circle. Make sure that they don’t gossip or spread rumors. I know of groups who disguise themselves a prayer partners but all they do is gossip. Be careful. If someone is quick to talk about another person to you… believe that they’re talking about you to someone else.

Why self-care and selfish should go together.

Let’s remove the guilt

and start embracing the importance of self-care. And “yes” putting everything on pause can sound selfish. But what’s wrong with that?

It’s not like I’m suggesting that you let children go hungry, ignore the home, forget to return important calls or leave a burning pot on the stove.

You need this!

With all the stress and ugly in the world you need time and a place to refresh.

“Blessed is she who knows her worth and is esteemed, WOMAN is her kind.”

— Hoomalamalama

Think about the check engine light on your dashboard and imagine that you’re too busy to fix it, leaving the task for tomorrow. Eventually tomorrow becomes a week, then a month. Without warning, while you’re driving to an important event, the engine starts smoking and it stalls. Right in the middle of a four way traffic sign

Your initial attitude is frustration, anger and blame but it warned you. Is that really fair?

Intentional Self-Care

Intentional self-care is making time for your self and not letting anything get in your way. If an emergency should occur, take care of it then return to your plan. (As soon as it’s possible.)

Don’t expect people around you to understand. Why? Because most humans care about things that involve them and your self-care routine doesn’t and it shouldn’t include anyone but you.

You’re not meant to share this moment with anyone and you need to be selfish. This is a sacred time set aside to nourish and protect your greatest investment… your body. (Mind and soul included.)

Plan it, Do it, Done

We can talk all day about what we want to do but doing is so much better. The previous blogpost I wrote about keeping your promises. I was referring to the promise you make to yourself. If you plan to do something, do it!

Below is a few pages from my 2021 planner spread and my theme was terrarium. It represents an ideal environment where I am the creator of its anatomy.

Mālama Kou Kino

If you take care of your body it will take care of you. It really is that simple.

Answer the prompts in the comment section below. Take action and be proactive.

• What does self-care look like to you?

• When will you start implementing, “Mālama Kou Kino?”

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Special Invitation

I’m opening up my mastermind after two years. If you would like to experience what sitting in a conversation with generational wisdom feels like join us.

Single best advice for the NEW YEAR

Listen to the podcast.

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I know your heart strings have been going through so much and it feel like you can't take another thing.

You and I have a lot in common, we're concerned about the state of our world and the future of the next generation.

The single best advice I would give is...

Keep your promises.

In other words if you said to yourself, "Tomorrow I'm going to walk a mile." Then you wake up and the weathers bad so you cancel.

[Don't break the promise/commitment you made to yourself.]

Stop letting yourself down.

Sure politicians break their promises, churches loose faith and health care professionals have been caught in lies but that's NOT YOU. Let’s face it, we’ve all been let down before but why do it to yourself?

I know, you probably didn’t consider this point of view but I’d like to encourage you to shift your thinking.

1. What if you kept every promise you’ve ever made to yourself?

2. What if you forgave yourself for breaking past promises?

3. What if you earned your trust by keeping simple promises?

Let’s Build

A strong foundation starts with you and it can be challenging, The reality is that many of us have allowed other people, who don’t live in our skin, to make and break promises. But is that serving us?

To build you have to clear clutter and I suggest reading…

Subconscious Curating

If you’ve failed before consider the endless benefit of creating new happy habits, read…

What do your habits reveal.

Finally, connect to your WHY and make this go-around-the-sun spectacular, read…

How strong is your why, and will it stand the test of time?

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Onipa’a

I can almost imagine the voice of Queen Lili’uokalani echoing the resounding chant to remain steadfast. As one of my favorite people in history I am encouraged by her quiet determination and deep love for her people. In facing the unknown I try to find the resilience within my own environment and made a commitment to keep the promises I make to myself. Regardless of the worlds unfolding because I can not change anyone but me. This has been my saving grace.

I want to invite you to share this post with someone and answer the prompts. And if you really want to make a difference in your own life and improve your lifestyle you should consider joining our mastermind. Just make sure you’re subscribed to our newsletter and you’ll be informed about our schedule and openings.

Take some time to answer these questions for yourself because I’m sure that the answer is within. Everything you need to succeed is already a part of your DNA, trust the process and keep your promises.

A Veteran's Sunrise

Below is the picture

I posted onto my Instagram account. I literally went to PicMonkey and searched “Veterans.” This picture inspired me so much because I realized that my Dad gave up his sunrises for his country.

I stared at it for awhile and wrote the first things on my mind.

I’ve included an affiliate link to PicMonkey since it’s my go-to image maker.

Anyway, I wanted to share the poem I was inspired to create. Keep in mind that it’s coming from the mind of a daughter thinking about her daddy.

“Sometimes we take for granted a sunrise. The simplicity of seeing a rising light over the horizon pushing away the darkness. To be awakened by the warmth and glow of the sun... but that’s exactly what they surrender.
•
They forfeit the promise of a sunrise for the safety of your today. They knowingly deny themselves every holiday, weekend and family celebrations while embracing the call to serve and protect.
•
You see, we can enjoy a sunrise because someone gave up theirs. So before you slip into the cycle of daily conundrums PAUSE, say a prayer and verbally THANK A VETERAN.
•
If it is within your power to physically bless them then do so because they have suffered silently while we move through our day. GOD BLESS AMERICA ❤️🤍💙
”

— Ho'omālamalama

I red the poem to a few co-workers and we decided to use it in our Veteran’s Day assembly. The thanks and gratitude I received from the Veteran’s and others warmed my heart. They felt the words and it seemed to sum up all of our feelings.

This experience taught me that we are more connected than not. We share the same sorrows and joy, that’s our humanity.

This year has been a struggle for our Veterans and after all their dedication the future feels uneasy. I’ll be looking into way’s to support them and I hope you’re inspired to do the same.

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This isn’t my regular share but 11/11 is kind of special to me and I can never make it through without tearing up. In fact the gentleman in the picture above is a bus driver who served four years in Vietnam. He’s still working and extremely dedicated to the children.

It’s the America I love, people dedicating themselves to protecting the freedom of others.

What to do with unwanted change?

Change in gas prices, weather, etc.

Unwanted change is going to happen regardless of how you feel. In fact I can guarantee change and so can you.

But what if it’s something you don’t want and can’t prevent?

Solution

Look to the past!

Generations of people have dealt with both aggressive and progressive change but their action made the difference. The “Action” you take after reading or hearing this will determine your tomorrow. I listed five tips to help you.

Read through the five tips and then listen to the corresponding podcast for details. Then post your comments below. If you want more support make sure you’re receiving the newsletter.

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Accept It

Acceptance doesn’t mean that you like it.

This step allows you to move forward by acknowledging the change in your life.

Maybe it’s loosing someone or something.

Perhaps a missed opportunity.

What’s changed in your life?

Write

You have to create a positive visual representation.

We get “stuck” in our headspace worrying, wondering and wanting the CHANGE to go away.

But that’s not going to happen, refer to Step #1.

Take a few deep breaths, this is only temporary. (That’s what the Elders say.)

Write a list of things you control.

VALUE

What do you value?

In the heat of the moment or when stressed we can loose sight of the most important things in life.

A gentle reminder is always helpful to regain a healthy perspective.

Go over the list you wrote and place a number value next to each item.

BE

Be the change!

You are more powerful than you know and capable to overcome any circumstance.

Just like a healthy river you have to keep moving both physically and mentally. Your blood has to circulate and your brain needs positive reinforcement.

Use the list you created to make a TO DO LIST. Do what you have the power to control.

Create

Create sacred space.

It could be a special chair, a place in your garden or soaking in your bathtub. Make time to enjoy the simple pleasure in life.

Be consistent, plan and maintain this part of your schedule.

If you get too busy don’t skip it, just reschedule it. Nourishing moments make life livable.

What do you enjoy?

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Join our tribe

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What to do about uncertainty

FYI:

You’ll want to share this post with all of your loved ones.

Listen, we haven’t had much relaxation due to 2020’s list of upheaval’s and unrest.

There’s hope…

You are the hope.

I wanted to share a list of five tips to help you focus, despite the distractions.

Everything I’m sharing is from my personal observation and not meant to diagnose or treat anyone. Please understand that I, like you, have been sensing the changes in the air and want solutions.

Start Here

Read through the five tips and then listen to the corresponding podcast for details. Then post your comments here or on Instagram. If you want more support make sure you’re receiving the newsletter.

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